a year

A birthday book and the makings of an anniversary mask. It’s hard to remember back to the beginning, back a whole year, a year of getting caught up and overwhelmed and angry in the sadness of it all. A year tucked away with my little family, lucky enough to have what we need and time enough to adjust to learn to do life differently. I don’t know, so much emotion is bunched up inside, and it sounds cheesy to say I’m different because of it, better for it, but it kind of feels like that, out growing myself in ways I didn’t even realize were necessary.

A year of using what I have, like taking fabric that I once made into curtains and recycling it into a bouquet for my face, finally (almost) using up that entire giant spool of black elastic that I bought years ago for making my “Midori” style planners.

A year of trying so many different flat metal flexible things wrapped in duct tape just to get a good nose seal, “wrapped in duct tape” because I sewed them into place INSIDE the mask and didn’t want it to rust when washed ..this was before I realized I could sew a little sleeve on the OUTSIDE of the mask and make the metal nose piece removable (lightbulb) and also before actual metal nose bars were a thing you could buy.

A year of sewing matching masks for my parents β™‘

Mask upgrade in three pictures and a lifetime supply of the softest ear friendly elastic and metal nose pieces.

A year of trying my best β™‘

collection of thoughts

Life is a jumble, a little bit of everything, a little bit of nothing, quiet peace with bursts of chaos, hurt that slowly softens, profound and stupid and terrible and wonderful all at once.

Taking it all in, giving everything its moment, because we are all different, but the same, we are all nothing more than a jumbled collection of lots and lots of little bits, profound, and stupid, and terrible and wonderful all at once.

πŸ’•

over thinking

So many tiny bland stitches on tiny prickly needles.

Ok, this will be worth it, right? Don’t get me wrong I absolutely love a double brim, but 7β€³ of brim on 2.25mm, stop, pick up live stitches for brim, join, then several moments and rounds later, switch to 2mm and put on your 5x magnifying eyes and pick up so many tiny stitches for that built in welt …blurg! (ok, that welt is kinda cool!)

Hard parts over, almost there, feeling hopeful, yes, yes this will be worth it! ..but why do my tiny stitches look choppy?

Blocking will straighten things right out, right?

Well, blocking kind of worked, wtf tiny bland stitches :(

Floppy and fluid, it feels like practically nothing, romanced now by the then fussy welty brim details.

From a distance, acceptable perfection. I had no idea I would love hate this so much, the fact that it looks like it came from a machine makes me strangely pleased.

Now, I wish it were black, but if it were, it would have never happened.

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Pattern: Thinking Cap by Churchmouse Yarns and Teas.

Yarn: Rowan Fine Lace by Rowan, colorway beige.