We went grocery shopping for my parents the other day, it was strangely normal and at the same time not, seeing lists of sold out items upon entry, posted occupancy limits, worried that we wouldn’t be able to get them what they needed, the simple things they asked for. Worried that the other shopper next to me was getting too close, gloves, no gloves, watching how people touched stuff, and how some seemed so unconcerned.
Tomorrow is my last day of regular work, before the Stay Home order goes into effect and there are times I’m not even sure I’m completely comprehending this, any of it, so much is happening. Lately when it’s quiet and I can fully sink into the reality of it all, I get scared, sometimes letting myself worst case things, sometimes dismissing the seriousness, sometimes just going from moment to moment. I don’t know if it will be ok, I hope so, I really hope so, and that’s probably where a lot of us are at right now.
I’ve been debating putting my little shop on hold. On one hand it’s amazing that I can continue with minimal disruption, possibly even apply more focus to it, virtual marketplaces and online communities are incredible. But, in the same breath I worry about the postal workers, and the health and safety of all the critical workers having any unnecessary burden created by me or adding extra stress on already over stressed people and systems during this stressful time. Keeping up an “everything is normal” attitude when it is absolutely not, guilt in asking you my beautiful friends to put your money in my hands during uncertain times, feeling like a frivolity in a time of necessity. I just don’t know.
But, I do know making things makes me unbelievably happy, so I will always be a maker, even if I’m not always selling, and the idea that people like the things I make enough to want to buy them is humbling, I appreciate and adore everyone one of you. 💕
Right now, for today I’m open, and I’ve put a few handmade treats in the shop for anyone who would like one and for those that don’t, this is just a cute little chocolate bun on a Thursday afternoon. 💕